What is incongruency?

Incongruency refers to a lack of consistency or harmony between two or more things. The term is commonly used in psychology and communication studies to describe situations where there is a mismatch between a person's thoughts, feelings, and behaviors or between their expectations and experiences.

For example, if a person expresses happiness and contentment verbally, but exhibits negative body language such as slouching or frowning, this would be an example of incongruency. Similarly, if a job applicant claims to have certain skills and experiences on their resume, but performs poorly in an interview or on a job task, this would be incongruent.

Incongruence can cause confusion, misunderstandings, and interpersonal tension. It can also lead to self-doubt and low self-esteem for individuals who struggle to align their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. In therapy, incongruence is often explored as a way to uncover underlying issues and bring about greater self-awareness.